Run alittle further to see who would chase after you

I'm beginning to wonder what my real interests really are. I find myself extremely amazed by how people behave and questions about knowledge etc. Sarah I really want to talk about them some more! The kinds of art I'm interested in are conceptual, I knew that ever since Marc Quinn became my favourite artist. Just that I have problems putting them in verbal forms.

I guess they're also driven by my feelings now. I've been feeling quite down yesterday afternoon. This sentence came to me in the morning and struck me real hard, "Is who I am to you like how you are to me? Is how they are to me like how I am to them?". Its scary because they will NEVER tell you straight in the face, and you'll never know when a friendship is mutual or not.


One thing I've learnt about myself through all these questions (that miraculously pop up) is that I'm actually becoming increasingly honest about myself. My flaws and feelings. Everything. I'm glad I'm developing a courage to face up to my mistakes because they help one realise even more about themselves.


& though I can't believe I seriously managed to have a phone conversation (close to 2 hours) for so long last night, I was thinking about that burning question of mine throughout. When it isn't mutual, is it still called friendship? I felt like the evil one then.

On other days, I feel like the one who treasures it more than the other party. Its also like how our parents will ALWAYS love us more than we love them. Its a sad world, isn't it?


The thing is, we only want to know if the friendship is mutual when WE are the ones who treasure it more than the other party.If they treasure us more than we treasure them why would we care to know so much about these mutual things right? We're selfish like that, yes.

I guess a right way to determine who is important to you is to ask ourselves how badly do we want that frienship to be a mutual one.